As a teacher, I have been a witness to several shattered lives of my students. Many of them came from broken families and are already suffering its ill-effects as a consequence.
As I observed the current trends of young people who are entering into the marriage union, I am afraid that most of them will end up into a broken relationship. Many will repeat the same cycle of endless hurts and disappointments.
Why? Why would someone who comes from a broken family repeat the same emotional turmoil he already have? The answer lies basically from the fact that the child has no strong foundation from where he can establish and practice how it would be like to make the right choices in life. Among these are:
-No role model from parents (they are separated or divorced)
-School provides little or no information at all on how to choose the right person to marry
-When he becomes an adult, he can have companions, co-workers, or friends who have the same situation as his.
Statistics tell us that 75% of children of divorced couples go through divorce, too.
So what must I do as an educator and a parent? I can only do so much with the students who are under my tutelage right now. I am compelled by this force to help as many young people as possible through the articles in my blog.
For now, I will be talking about the importance of dating in creating a strong foundation for marriage.
Different perspectives when it comes to the essentials of dating will arise. Others will see it as an invalid activity for young people to engage in. For these people, dating will only lead to premarital activities. And besides, young people at this age should be kept busy in building their future, acquiring a good job, and bringing home financial aid for members of the family. A good question could be asked from this point of view, “Is building a good relationship with someone of the opposite sex not part of building their future as well?
As adults who are tasked to keep a watch on these young people, how can we educate the young members of our society in establishing a good relationship with the opposite sex? That’s when I say dating must enter the scene. If we responsible adults can educate them to lay a strong foundation in establishing a successful marriage and family someday, by then we can proudly say that we have done our part to break that cycle of emotional hurts and shattered lives. It is only then that our society will have a good chance of producing happy, fulfilled, and successful individuals.
With the moral decline and prevailing societal problems due to broken relationships, it is
high time that we put creating meaningful relationships in their proper perspective. There is a strong need to educate our youth in the proper aspect of dating.
WHAT IS DATING?
Dating is not courtship. Courtship is defined as the activities that occur when people are developing a romantic relationship that could lead to marriage or the period of time when such activities occur.
According to Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary, a DATE is an appointment for a specified time: especially a social engagement between two persons of the opposite sex. In its basic sense, DATING is an activity- any activity whether indoors or outdoors, done at a set time agreed by two people or more.
WHY IS DATING IMPORTANT?
I categorized dating based on the context of WHO are involved. I have below a list of the benefits of these types of dating.
Dating for the SINGLES
1. It can be a source of recreation. Going out together with friends help you to relax, bond, and experience enjoyment together.
2. It builds your social confidence. You get to learn how to deal with people. It will hone your social skills like manners, conversation, cooperation, adaptability, and your personal skills too, like how well you can tolerate an annoying person who cannot stop but talk only of himself.
3. It establishes your gender role. Men and women can discover the kind of roles they find satisfying in a close relationship, which can only be done in association with the opposite sex.
4. It will help you find the right partner. Dating can help you filter the eligible mates down to a spiral few and eventually to just one.
5. It provides companionship through the shared activities. It will boost a person’s self-worth once he gets invited to dates.
Dating for the COUPLES, who are contemplating marriage
1.It is the proper time for you to look deeper into the personality of your future life partner. You can examine if your partner’s emotional personalities compliment with yours.
2. It will help you determine your behaviour and attitude toward your married life together. How will he treat you as your husband? Can she cook good food? How financially and emotionally ready are you? How many children will you want to raise together? Can you get along with your inlaws?
Dating for married couple and family members
1. It strengthens the family bond. Going out together in specific dates will family members to reconnect more, patch up conflicts, and will help kids develop their self-worth at an early stage, in the boundaries of the home.
2. It provides avenue for your kids to practice their social skills. This is the time when you can re-enforce manners and build conversation skills.
3. It helps you to be creative in planning fun activities for the family.
It instill in your kids good memories that they can pattern with when they grow up as an adult.
4. It affirms your love for your family. Dating can be defined in four-letter word- TIME. The time you spend with your loved ones is something far more valuable than all the expensive things you replace it with.
5. It provides opportunity to develop intimacy in a meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex.
Now that I have laid down the reason why dating is important, I believe that we can do something in a positive way to help eliminate the negative notions attached to it. When adults consciously choose to date appropriately, the younger generation can catch up. What adults do, whether right or wrong, usually is right in the eyes of a child.